40 days of dating spoiler


What '40 Days of Dating' Got Right About Millennial Relationships

Manhattanites and graphic designers Timothy Goodman and Jessica Walsh decided to find out — and the platonic friends embarked on the tenuous mission of dating each other for 40 days. The adventure was chronicled in a blog — and now a book — for all to see. The ground rules were simple: With these rules in place, the two launched their design-heavy blog, "40 Days of Dating," in , hoping to "cure" one another of their dating bad habits.


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Now, a year and a half later, they have a book out under the same name, out Feb. And no stone in their relationship is left unturned. Think of the bright orange book as a field guide to Millennial dating in New York City. Every text message, tweet, and scrap of dating ephemera like restaurant receipts, Magnolia bakery cartons and even a corporate condom, are methodically filed and documented in the day experiment.

Beginning in March , Goodman and Walsh dated, ate, drank and bickered across New York City, with their fights chronicled on iMessage and Facebook chats pasted in the book. Eighteen months later, and the pair are back, with a book about their experiment, and the aftermath.

What '40 Days of Dating' Got Right About Millennial Relationships

Now, I have to admit, two summers ago, I tried to get into 40 Days. I remember reading the first couple of days of the experiment, but struggling to get into it. I attributed it to dating overkill. I was knee-deep in my own dating experiment. And so, when I saw the hype surrounding the new book, I decided to give the project another go. However, this time I was able to pinpoint some of the reasons why 40 Dates of Dating is lost on me.

Even in the opening pages, I found myself quickly disliking Jessie and her take on life. This only amplified as she continues on through the book, becoming more and more preachy about her lifestyle and everything-free hipster eating habits. I have friends from all backgrounds, and with all kinds of attitudes to life, and yet I found it hard to relate to Jessie in any way.

By contrast, Timothy seemed more likeable, though he still became rather frustrating as the pages went on, mainly as a result of his increasing obsession with Jessie. In the end, I skim-read much of the second half, basically trying to find a the days where they had sex, and b whether they ended up going out in the end. Yes, I of all people know challenges are always contrived, but this went a step further than most. Thirdly, and this for me was the main point … It all just seemed like one big PR stunt.

The book is beautifully laid out, as was the blog.

Jessica Walsh

But because the blog was created after the experiment, it was all just too pre-planned for me, and seemed to simply be an exercise for the two designers to showcase their artistic talent. You have to ask yourself why these two really did it.

Tim is right, I do love love. Apparently, the feeling of falling in love is wired in us to help the survival of our species. While sexual desire exists to make sure we pop out babies, the feelings of love exists to promote bonding and pairing between mates to increase the survival rate of the children. Chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine are released when in love.

The chemicals increases energy, increases focus, and helps make us feel fucking awesome all the time. In fact, research shows brain activity in love is almost identical to our brain activity on cocaine. We went to our first therapy session together. I think it was a bit soon for this, but our therapist Jocelyn wanted to have a consultation first.

Timothy Goodman

Why are you doing this project? What is the goal of this project?

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Book Review – 40 Days of Dating by Timothy Goodman & Jessica Walsh

Do you want to date each other? Are you ready to be hurt?


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What happens if you screw up your friendship? And on and on and on! I almost had a panic attack.

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