It killed my low self esteem and simultaneously boosted my respect for other people. MDMA was initially used in psychotherapy.
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It still is today with PTSD sufferers. Allows people to open up and talk about hard things with ease. Doubt you could find a more "mentally", medicinal substance. Glad to hear you've seen some benefits from it. Not that I would advise anyone to take illicit drugs, but yeah, I also tried MDMA twice in my life, and it pretty much makes you "friends with the world" lol.
Channel that state and you're golden. I have ridiculous confidence when pinging. It's like every one of my actions is smooth and right in a weird way. I'm going to go out on a limb here by suggesting that you're probably pretty decent looking. Of course you have to be decent looking. You can change majority the of your looks.
You can workout, get a good haircut dress yourself well, smile. Your looks are something you can work on and put effort in. So why wouldn't you? Yep, that's pretty much it - decent looking. I'm neither tall nor handsome, but I do groom myself well, am clean, and smell nice. Other than that, I've already mentioned this somewhere else - I'm painfully average. I went through varying stages of fitness the past 10 years, and while I did get more chances at talking to women while I was fit vs fat, the end result never mattered; pulled nearly as much when I let myself go for a period after an injury, as when I did when I was in top physical shape.
I'm a girl and I'd say that looks don't matter as much as men think. I have thought several guys are unattractive but if they have an amazing personality, I become attracted. That's what irks me about most "super easy successful dating advice": It's always presented by guys with attractiveness-leves well above average.
There's that joke I'm quite fond of: If you want to impress me, shave a gorilla. I've noticed that the biggest problem around here is guys not knowing how to engage and normally talk to a person. I've come to the same conclusion you have after speaking to thousands and thousands of women through online dating and in person. Thousands and thousands more online than in person, but the result is the same. Talking to many, many women leads to an understanding of how to talk to women in the future.
Online, I say whatever floats my boat to entertain myself, because it's usually just to pass time. I tried a wide range of things online and just whittled away the things that didn't get responses, led to disagreements, etc. In person, I've never had an issue, people want to talk to me and I want to talk to people So I just make it happen!
Unfortunately, it's the simplest, most efficient way to go about all of this.
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No formulas, no techniques, no absolutes and universal approaches. All it takes is practice like every other thing we all get good at. I wish I were a better harmonica, guitar, and ukulele player, but I know what it takes to get there. I don't try to find some trick that makes me 5 years better than I am. I just pick one up and play it when I have time.
Most guys don't realize that if they just take ONE DAY per week out of their busy schedule, and make it a point to go to some busy spot that day and talk to as many girls as they can, like or whatever time permits - and do that for a couple of months - it will solve most of their problems with talking with women. That's how I started out. Nothing transformed me more than these experiences. Oh and yeah, I got a huge leg-up because I also eventually started working as a bartender, and talked with hundreds of beautiful women per day.
Yep, I also had a job where I got to speak to many beautiful women everyday. Same deal, learned a lot. Actually, I guess my current job has plenty of interaction as well. Along with conversational ability, it's also put things into perspective relating to how many women will like me versus how many won't. Very few won't like me, some won't care either way, and others will buzz around me like they're falling in love.
This is my reality now, whereas I used to question whether women found me attractive. I would wonder about each woman, especially the ones I liked. Now, it just doesn't matter. I take it for granted that I'm a desirable human being because I've spoken to enough desirable human beings to know where I stand in people's eyes. So I don't need to know who's interested, I'll find out eventually. It's a refreshing way to live everyday and people seem to feed on it and get drawn into it. Which from what I can tell, has been a snowballing effect once this mind frame of mine started.
When you were talking to all these women were you going for their numbers too or just out practicing talking? The point is to practice social skills. But if I see that a convo is going really well, and we're both enjoying each other, why not go for the number? A simple "Oh hey, It was fun talking to you. Let's exchange numbers and do this again sometime. I was once pretty good at this, at least with women. My problem was that for me, this never translated into anything remotely sexual. I would make a bunch of good friends and remained a virgin throughout college.
This is why I became convinced that there is a different type of language and social skills involved in sexuality. If "just be yourself" or "just talk to them like human beings" worked we wouldn't need subreddits like this. I mean you maybe having a very interesting conversation with some chick, but if you play it safe and don't do anything remotely sexual she will not pick up your vibe. And this is why I bristle a bit at posts like these. What does it mean to not play it safe?
How does a guy learn what appropriate advances are when he has no means of doing so without doing exactly what he is taught not to do, e. This isn't something he could learn no matter how long he talks to his best guy friend, or to a woman like he would his best guy friend. Yeah for me it's that I don't want to be rude. I do treat my female friends like my male friends and I don't make sexual advances towards my male friends and thus don't make them to my female friends either ok.. And "yo wanna have sex" just doesnt sit well with me. I know some people can get away with it, but I can't.
That's because just talking to women normally is just that. It's simply the first step. Then you have to create sexual tension eventually, which, if properly utilized, is what gets you laid. So, normal talk to show her your not a creep or weordo, then transition into creating sexual tension. Also, treating women like people was the point, not that you always just talk normally to them, whatever that is.
So you spoke to thousands of women and learned what works well and what doesn't? Or you spoke to a couple hundred and found out what doesn't work? The process is never-ending and you'll want to always be improving, especially in certain aspects, like developing attraction. The skills definitely come through a ton of interaction. If there is nothing valuable to be learned from reading, then I'd rather die than keep through this slog for another few thousand people. Understand, I came from a background where sexuality was taboo, let alone trying to understand how to approach it with women.
How is a man supposed to approach learning something like that by practice when this is ingrained in him from an early age? The same way all of us other men have overcome our own shortcomings growing up. Are you still a child at an early age? Are you trying to convince me that you can't apply yourself towards interacting with women sexually or yourself? If you tell a child they're being shy and always mention to others that they're shy, they'll become a shy man. What happens if you tell men what they can be? What happens when you set examples for those men? What happens when you tell those men that they're the concentrated product of hundreds of generations of men that conquered the ages to produce your line?
You are exactly what you believe you are and your belief currently is that women don't feel your sexual energy. I say bullshit, I say you're oblivious to women's interest in you because you're insecure about making physical, sexually forward moves My situation is irrelevant to my point, which is that experimenting on people should be tempered by teaching them lessons that can be learned without having to do that experimentation again, particularly in a culture where inappropriate male sexuality is strongly discouraged.
I'm not aware of any culture where inappropriate male sexuality doesn't still happen, regardless of the intracultural stigmas. Of course, but knowing what's unwelcome and never being given good examples of what's welcome and why left me - probably leaves a number of men - feeling like they just shouldn't try to express themselves in that way for fear of being rude or offensive. We learn that it doesn't have to be that way later of course, but to add to your instrument analogy it's like trying to pick up a saxophone without any guidance or idea of how to begin and the saxophone lets out a giant fart noise if you screw up.
I think guided instruction by people like you can reduce the incidence of giant fart noises, even if they're just contextual lessons from interactions you've had. I think this is good advice and what I'm about to say shouldn't be taken as a whiny criticism, but I think that a lot of guys have a disconnect that you're not considering in 'talking like a normal person.
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You have to realize that for a lot of us, 'normal people talk' is 'did you see the latest Star Wars movie? Why is "did you see the latest Star Wars movie? I said that all thr time to women, when episode 7 and Rogue came out. I frequently talk about video games with women. What you say don't matter, it's the passion behind the words and your tonality which makes or breaks it.
Sub-communication is what's important. In fact, I'm eventually planning to start streaming and answering dating questions for gamers live while playing my favorite games.grinraubacktakons.gq
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Maybe I'm assuming too much. Maybe Star Wars was a bad example. I guess I'm just struggling with the fact that most of the observations my brain makes about what it finds funny or interesting are met with a blank stare and a 'huh' by anyone besides my close friends on the rare occasion they make it to my mouth. I see what you're getting at. However OP addresses this by saying you have to approach hundreds of times to get good at it.
For conversations, of course only your close friends will get you- especially if you're not a social person. But if you put yourself in new situations constantly you will learn how to relate with more people and become more social. Also, I think there can be a very fine line and maybe not very well explained in this sub sometimes between needy supplication talk and 'getting to know you' talk. The funny part about this is most people in the pick up community don't know how to talk like a normal person. The more pick up stuff they read the worse they get at this.
You mean avoid her, or make awkward small talk? Sadly enough I've had better luck meeting women than I have had making friends. I learned this lesson the hard way but it helped me see it from other perspectives, I know it might be easy to some to just go and talk to a girl like they're anybody else, but when you haven't experienced many of those unprovoked or related situations you tend to get a lot of thoughts racing through your head, and that's why a lot of these PUA's that write books really stress that inner confidence, the best advice to give that will help anyone go an just talk to a girl is realize that, if you have good intentions, the worse that could happen is that you get a weird judgement from a total stranger, but that's ok, you're still breathing and there's plenty more girls to talk to, but yes practice socializing in general and talking to girls begins to come more natural, take thise risks, and reap the rewards.
I started doing this because I was tired of trying to think of what to say. So, eventually, I just said fuck it - just say hi as a "baby step" and see what happens. And voila it works every time. And it's not all about just getting the lay too.. You can get creative with this. If you're meeting them for the first time depending on the location , you can talk about something in proximity i. OP's post kinda resonated with me not that I'm anywhere near as good as he is in getting dates and such , but I think the idea is this: You don't get nervous when you talk to your best friend about something normally, do you?
It shouldn't be too much different when talking to women. The conversation should flow naturally, and if it doesn't, then you move on to the next one. I gave up the whole pickup thing years ago not that there isn't good information to be learned from studying those people , but I've found that engaging in "normal" conversation works wonders for me, and nothing feels forced. Ask about their hobbies and interests, talk about them, and then share yours. It becomes increasingly less nerve wracking after you've done this over a period of time.
I honestly feel like I'm pretty good at holding normal conversations with girls without it seeming like I'm trying to pick them up but I just feel like sometimes when I see a cute girl and I want to talk to her, if there isn't enough context depending on where we are, like on a bus for example or I can't think of anything not stupid to say, I won't start the conversation. One thing I will say is that my game is most definitely a long-term one. Have you tried being a regular at a local bar I'd recommend anything but a dive or something of the sort? Once you go enough, you start running into familiar faces.
Believe it or not, my local Whole Foods is a wonderful place to meet new people, and I met the last girl I dated there. I should mention that this Whole Foods has a bar inside. Oh yeah, I'm definitely a lot better at talking to girls that I've seen multiple times before, but I wanna get good at just walking up to that 8, 9, or 10 that I see outside and just start a nice conversation with her.
Had this same problem tonight. Really cute girl sitting with a couple friends that I had zero reason to talk to other than I thought she was good-looking and couldn't do it. There's never a go-to thing. I notice something about the girl in the time it takes me to approach - something interesting, weird, that I like, dislike, or whatever - and then make a GENUINE comment on it, preceded by an enthusiastic HI, or maybe a nod or wave before that even.
I try to think of those kinds of things about the girl also, but sometimes I can't think of anything that I think the girl would react positively to. See that's the main difference, you're trying to look for something you think SHE would react to positively. I look for something that catches MY eye, and comment on it, regardless of what I think her reaction will be.
Because I can deal with her reactions, positive, or negative ones.
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That's pretty much what you always notice about a hot girl at first - that she's hot. The point is to find out who she is as a person later, when you start talking to her. What, that she has a nice body and face? Unless she's wearing a burqa that's going to be impossible not to notice. What am I going to do, make some stupid remark about her ripped jeans and chucks? Posts like this drive me crazy. That's what every pickup article boils down to. This broad bullshit advice is so stupid.
There's never specific examples and it's always here's how I got from A to D, without listing steps B and C. With a "just be yourself" thrown in there. Any dickhead can approach someone and say hi. And especially any dickhead can tell another dickhead to approach someone and say hi. Nobody cares about that. Approach anxiety isn't always the issue. How much more do I really invest at this point? This is where being very average looking comes into play. It's much more than The point of the article wasn't about the "Hi" at all.
It was about treating women as people, talking to women like they're normal human beings, and not putting them on pedestals. Of course, it takes infinitely much more than hi to "fuck girls". For example, at some point there has to be sexual tension or she won't want to sleep with you no matter what you do. Talk to her like a normal person show her you're not a weirdo, and that you're interested in her as a person as well. Talk about the stuff that interests you, about something fun, exciting, or interesting - it's up to you.
If you enjoy each other's company, create sexual tension, hold it, and utilize it to your advantage while taking the girl somewhere private. That's essentially what each interaction boils down to, and this is the very condensed version. And then with the 4th part, with creating sexual tension. They have this problem because they don't treat women as normal people and put them on pedestals, which is what I was addressing in this post.
In your example, when you talk to women at bars and coffee shops, and it goes like "Hi" "Hi" - "It's pretty cool here right? Do you ever run out of things to say to with him? That's the only difference between the two interactions, which gets you laid. How is that fucking hard to grasp? Also, read part 2, which is exactly about "after the hi". The point is to get the conversation started, and then transition to a regular conversation, with the added benefit of sexual tension.
How does the advice change when the woman is with one or more other women which they almost always are, unless it's a day time scenario? I feel like approaching one woman and saying hi is exponentially easier than approaching a woman in a group and just saying hi. They are her friends probably. You should be polite, greet everyone, and say that you feel chatty and would like to talk to them, and then be as honest as you can be about your intentions.
Be aware of the general atmosphere But first of all, the most important thing is: Sometimes most of the times things don. You will just have to keep being honest with yourself and the others. Then life will seem to slide so easily Funny that every video always comes with these cringy 'love your shoes, had to come say hi' lines. While it is so much easier to say hi and just see where the conversation goes If you've been with over women you really can't explain how to find a good relationship because you clearly have no experience with relationships.
I'm currently in a very happy and serious relationship, which is already going 4 years strong. Chose a girl who's okay with pickup and threesomes. I don't cheat on her unless we're in a threesome. I'm actually working on a video product about how to easily get threesomes with your gf provided she's down for that. The dudes i know who I believe have slept with hundreds of women always have girlfriends, many in open relationships. An open relationship is still more about fucking all the people you can, just with a partner this time.
This is great advice and it actually hits on a more important fact: If you approach, you are already doing much better than most men. And why try and complicate the approach? Keep it simple, so you never have to think about "What should I say? I believe a lot of the game you teach can be boiled down to "be yourself" or "natural". It involves a TON of inner-game and almost zero outer game.
So that means its very hard for most guys to do right away, especial if they're newbie status. Well, be yourself is not great if you're someone who's rude, shitty, malicious, etc. Be your best self, always keep improving, and focus on letting your personality shine, not on what you think will impress women. It comes with experience. When you realize certain things, when you achieve a measure of abundance, when you genuinely start connecting with people for who they are instead of superficial things, you sooner or later tend to realize that you shouldn't even be trying so hard because, paradoxically, the less effort you put into trying to make a connection with someone, the more you'll actually connect.
I have just read the post you recommended and realized I have been a little bitch of late because I place my happiness on external things. I got depressed when I achieved goals to only find they didn't fix me. I have been searching for something that was always inside. I can now move on, this has been a great relief and is exactly what I needed to hear right now: Hey man, thanks for writing to me.
I'm very glad it helped you realize what you did, and it's always awesome when someone actually reads my ramblings in full without skimming, and finds something useful in them: That's actually insanely hard to do, so I recommend you get someone to comment on your tonality and body language who isn't afraid to tell it to you like it is. So, not your mom, nor grandma, nor bestie: I saw you from across the bar and thought you looked cute, and would kick myself if I hadn't come up to you and said hi!
It's okay when it is genuine - but it rarely is because it's one of the most frequently learned "safe" openers these days. But in reality, it's so overused it's not even funny. You miss the point. Talking "normally" doesn't mean talking like a meek, timid, insecure "nice guy" would. Certain things get you friendzoned, and talking to women as people is not one of them. But really I like this girl and already got to the.
Point of askin her out, but just not sure what to do for and during the date, not even sure what to talk about. Unfortunately, it would take me a month to explain it all to you. I've written a whole book on the subject, called How to Consistently Get Laid on The First Date, so if you really want to get this handled and nearly always have dates where she'll end up loving you by the end, you may want to check it out. You can find a link to it somewhere in my blog, but it's not cheap lol.
Meet her, hug her, show her that you're a normal, cool, interesting, fun, or exciting dude. Then hold that tension while on your way home with her - and poof, you get laid and she adores you afterward. I've been on several thousand dates Yes, thousand while traveling all around the world, slept with more women than I could ever count because I lost track somewhere after Sure, I'll prove it to you, if you actually want to know and also willing to put your money where your mouth is.
Etherium and NEM works fine too. Then I'll send you an NDA between you and my company, which you will have to sign and which will prevent you from later leaking the material you'll receive to any other parties, or to the web.
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Then you'll tell me an adress, and I'll send you a usb drive with about, 55Gb of my homemade porn. Most of the material is pictures taken by me or said girls, while we're naked. There's also a few videos but i always preferred taking photos tbh. The NDA is to protect the girls, as even though most agreed to be shot on camera, I can't post any of it on the web,and since it will be between you as a private person and my company as a legal entity, it's going to be legally binding. Now it's up to you, pm me and we can work out the details.
How bout we keep it simple Look through some of my blog articles, there's even a collage in 2 of them i think, of the exact porn pictures i just described showing several girls naked with me, with faces and all the naugthy bits blurred out, except my face. Not home atm can't remember which articles exactly.
Those are from the girls who actually agreed that i posted these pics on my website lol. I can link them to you later when i get home in like 6,5 hours, can't be arsed over the phone. I just can't imagine a life fucking a new girl every week. I got to quit having that 'she' s out of my league' attitude, though it might take some time because I've been doing it for so long. I'll check your blog too, thanks! Hey, that would take a really long time to explain in depth.
But the general gist of it is when you see that she likes you, you gradually start talking about increasingly sexual topics, ramp up intimate touching, get her thinking about sex with you, show her that you're a sexual person without any judgment, keep intense eye contact with her, and so on and so forth.
A couple of different places to go on a weekend. Two or three restaurants you could go to at night. Get good grooming habits: Believe it or not, a poor personal hygiene is one of the earliest dating dealbreakers for most women, while looking well-groomed and sharp makes a great impression on any girl! Before every date, shower, brush your teeth, floss, use a moisturizer for your lips if you need to, shave or trim facial hair and use a nicely scented aftershave not too much. Even if you don't shave, you can use it as a skin softener and for its enticing scent. Dress appropriately for your age and the occasion and choose clothes that you feel comfortable in.
Give her your full attention: Turn your phone off or put it on silent at the start of the date. You can check your messages later on. You'll never see an Alpha Male talking on the phone while on a date! Learn to "get" her body language: Because getting skilled at reading her body language is vital in picking up tons of unspoken messages! In fact, it's key in communicating with her at a deeper level.
Develop good conversation skills: Get skilled in how to talk to girls , how to make her laugh and how to compliment her - without being phony. Being authentic is a big turn-on for women! Having a good conversation is so important for a woman that it is on the 10 best dating skills to master — if you want to make your interactions with women easier, more rewarding and joyful, make sure you get really good at this!
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Create memorable experiences for her in the now - in the present moment - rather than re-experiencing memories. Learn to be romantic: Failing to be romantic is another one of the dating dealbreakers for many women. Because behaving in a romantic way makes women feel special; all women want to feel special.
So if you want to seduce your lady you have to create romantic moments now and then. You can never romance a girl too much. Being romantic proves her that you care, that you want to make her happy and that you know how to treat a woman right. Romance will take you a long way in seducing your lady, so make sure you have an arsenal of romantic ideas for men. How to Talk to Girls to Build Attraction. Women's Signs of Flirting. Alpha Male Dating Secrets. Have you ever met someone who just floored you? You know the man or woman who has a presence about them that is emanating like a force field around them?
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